We Are Working On Something Refreshing

Bouquets n Brickbats are working on improving the site for you. As such, stories will be less frequent while we try and take this to a proper content managed site.

Meanwhile, those who submit their stories to us will still get them published, so submit them anyway!

An announcement will be made here once the site is ready. In the meantime, here's an article I have written up.

The Nine Golden Rules To Driving Away Potential Customers

Do's

• Stand in front of your store, blocking the entrance. Ideally, you should be a pretty big guy.
• Do stare at the potential customers in a straight faced manner, especially if you are located right next to a competitive store.
• If you can, frown. If not, just staring would suffice.
• When the potential customer(s) decides to go to your competitor next door, continue staring but never, on any account, go back to your store. Continue standing outside. And keep staring.
• Always answer any questions with a short and curt single word answer where possible.
• You must always answer in a disgruntled tone or at the very least, nonchalant.

Don't's

• Never smile, ever
• Do not greet people that walk past, even if there is a slim chance they might want to go inside and take a look. You do not want them coming in now, do you?
• Don't put down whatever you are doing to answer any queries. In fact, continue doing what you do, especially if it is something as important as reading the last few pages of your novel or SMSing your friend about tonight's party

There you have it. Simple yes? ;-)

Got a customer service experience to share? Email me to get your story published! Do remember to read the submission guidelines and how we rate establishments before submitting.